We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Is Oprah even human
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
