I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
