what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He did a backflip because drugs
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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