Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
