just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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