I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
