We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
