Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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