I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
