I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
