Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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