Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
