Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Randomize
