Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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