is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
