I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
