I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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