He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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