How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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