My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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