Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
