I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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