alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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