This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
