Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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