I think im going to throw up on grandma
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
