oh god the rape fog is back!
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
