i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
