While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
