but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
