if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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