when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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