it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
