Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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