she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
