i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
