Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
