I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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