I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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