did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize