Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Buhtt sex?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
