So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
