im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
