I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
hell yes lets make some ravioli
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
