im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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