Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize