I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
