I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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