And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
