What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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