I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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