he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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