Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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