whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
