I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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