I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
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