Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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